Bionicle #6

Bionicle #6, May 2002, DC Comics
writer: Greg Farshtey
penciller: Carlos D’Anda
inker: Randy Elliot
letterer: Ken Lopez
colorst: Peter Pantazis

I swear, when I’m in a rush, I pick the worst comics to read. Today’s offering, Bionicle, was discovered at the bottom of a box of donated books at work, and while I thought the issue would offer further insight into the realm of promotional comics – a topic we’ve analyzed here from time to time – I just find myself confused and frustrated, wondering why any kid would like this popular Lego franchise after such shoddy work at this. Not to mention that I expected any comic about toys to be a light read, like the Lego Batman: Secret Files and Origins from a few months ago, which was admittedly fluff but undeniably fun. Just consider this excerpt from a few panels’ worth of text:

CAPTIONS: “The Matoran have learned that the Bohrok do not truly live. They are artificial life . . . biomechanical creations,” Onua explains. “The villagers salvaged parts from fallen Bohrok to build the Boxor vehicles.”
BIONICLE SOLDIER: We muct act now, Onua, or nothing will be left of Mata Nui!

Uhm, God bless you? Do you need a tissue? I think the writer – another hapless chap shacked with an impossible but necessary assignment, I assume – managed to squeeze a statement about Lego accessories in there somewhere, but the consonant heavy proper names makes the excerpt read more like a KGB file than a comic book about Legos. (Also reminds me of Warriors of Plasm from last week, and not in a good way. I was trying to forget that book.) So, with an evening of work ahead – our nonprofit organization is hosting its annual auction gala fundraiser – I was thinking that a comic book about toys would seem like I’d be getting in a little playtime before business. Sheesh. I feel like I’ve already clocked in.

Tomorrow, back to Halloween.