Holy Trivia, Batman!

Nic Cage and Adam West had a Batman trivia face-off on The Tonight Show last night. I won't spoil the victory, but Cage does pull out an impressive piece of knowledge that not even I knew.

Overheard in the Target Toy Aisle . . .

. . . two boys looking at a Batman: The Brave and the Bold variant action figure:

BOY 1: Mommy, Batman isn't red!
BOY 2: Maybe that's the hot Batman!

Classic.

Smallville Does Justice to the JSA

Last night's television debut of the JSA on Smallville was just campy enough to dissuade superhero naysayers, and just reverent enough to make fanboys like me absolutely ecstatic with the sweeps-snagging episode. Consider Stargirl, the babe (in youth and looks) of the veteran group, one moment swinging her predecessor's gaudy light staff with the straightest of faces, and the next claiming that "Stripesy" is indeed the worst sidekick name ever. If that doesn't represent a realistic portrayal of the superhero myth, I don't know what does. The Justice Society saved the CW's Friday night ratings, too, a responsibility Smallville has grown accustomed to carrying. In fact, writer Geoff Johns might've symbolized both the mantle of heroism and the weight of supporting a whole TV network when Green Arrow said of Hawkman's mace, "It's heavier than it looks."

The winged warrior responded, "You get used to it."

My only criticism was the length of the episode -- not that I minded two hours of superhero TV, but that the reverence of the whole thing demanded so much of its own screen time. Clark soaking in the JSA brownstone, its trophies . . . I guess since the show took the time to make the props, producers didn't want to relegate them to mere background Easter egg fodder. Further, the final showdown was a bittersweet moment, a perfect slow motion panorama of what could've only been 30 real-time seconds of battle. Still, to see Superman, Martian Manhunter, Hawkman, and Green Arrow fight the Icicle wearing Dr. Fate's helmet . . . it reminded me of the days spent on my bedroom floor enacting similar scenes with my Super Powers action figures.

Like the JSA themselves, it reminded me of earlier, better days. It did those old superhero fantasies justice.

Superman, Tights and Flights

Daniel Tosh's Comedy Central special reran for the umpteenth time last night, in which he jokes (and I paraphrase):

"How does Superman fly faster? I get that he flies, but how does he do it faster? Is it just more -- (extends hands outward)? I know some geek will come up to me after the show and explain, 'You see when the planet exploded . . .' Then I'll describe to him what a vagina feels like."

Ha ha.

Well, folks flipping through prime time tonight will see the Justice Society's television debut on Smallville, complete in their costumes, a niche the WB has avoided in their attempt to attract a mainstream audience. I'm pretty excited about it -- a feeling Tosh would never understand.

Dancing Under the Yellow Sun

Last night on Dancing With the Stars, The Guy That Was Naked In The Sex in the City Movie (I'm sorry, does he have a name?) danced the salsa to 3 Doors Down's "Kryptonite" (not a salsa standard, I reckon) and ended the routine by taking off his glasses and ripping his shirt open to reveal a Superman-esque logo. With so many celebrities getting injured as a result of their participation in this competition, was this song a declaration of his endurance -- or a bid to star in the next Man of Steel film? If it's neither, it was pointless.

The Sixth Day of Comic-mas: Sick Secret Santas!

Made-for-television Christmas specials are a holiday season staple, from stop-motion animation classics like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to more traditionally animated shorts like A Charlie Brown Christmas. Considering how quickly these specials and their featured characters have become household names in the grand scheme of holiday mythology, it makes sense that other similarly popular characters would try to make their impression during Christmastime -- characters like the Powerpuff Girls with their 'Twas the Fight Before Christmas, or Batman in the recent The Brave and the Bold episode "Invasion of the Secret Santas!" Originally aired on December 12, the episode has been saved in my girlfriend's TiVo since, and I recently watched it again with her . . . which became a gift in itself, as the show introduced her to aspects of the DC Universe she'd never otherwise experience.

So, yes, I'm going to review "Invasion of the Secret Santas!" for my patented Twelve Days of Comic-mas. I know it's not a comic book, but it's a definitively comic-based property, and I don't mind braving the deviation. Heh.

First of all, I think I've seen every The Brave and the Bold episode so far (thanks to the aforementioned TiVo), and I've enjoyed the series' campy look -- a welcome alternative to the Dark Knight's other most recent animated incarnation, The Batman. While that show set the new standard for rockin' opening credits sequence, even riffing the Adam West "biff"/"pow" effects via electric guitar, it suffered from comparisons to its beloved predecessor, Batman: The Animated Series, whose continuity ran concurrent to The Batman through Justice League Unlimited anyway, thus perpetually overshadowing it. In my opinion, The Batman's greatest nemesis was its inconsistency between kid-friendly, action-oriented stories and its shallow attempts at continuity-oriented character development, two aims not necessarily exclusive but difficult to balance in any given twenty-two minute Saturday morning cartoon. In the end, The Batman was really just a commercial for new character designs and related franchising, relegated to waiting for Robin until Teen Titans was canceled then hastily introducing a Justice League to follow in its older brother's footsteps, to no avail.

But this really has nothing to do with The Brave and the Bold, if only to contrast that this newer series has shed the skin of any preceding molds and has found the balance between appealing to kids by embracing the Batman camp of the Silver Age, and beckoning to fans with DC's B- and C-list heroes. (Interesting, the recent "Batman: R.I.P." arc mined old presumably forsaken Silver Age material, too, though not necessarily in a kid-friendly way.) This is the magic of watching Etrigan the Demon brawling with knights and dragons. Further, the series' format essentially grants viewers two adventures, a brief brawl prior to the opening credits, then a more developed plot afterward. In "Invasions of the Secret Santas," viewers see Batman and Blue Beetle best the Sportsmaster, then the Dark Knight and Red Tornado take down the toy-mastering Funhouse (apparently actually spelled "Fun Haus," but I'm going phonetically, here). Talk about playing to a child's short attention span!

Further, enter: my girlfriend's exposure to the DC Universe, in all its inconsistently campy glory. "The Sportsmaster is a weird idea for a character," she mused as we watched the baddie trap competitive bowlers in big, clear pin-shaped cages. After Bats and the new Blue Beetle take down the jerky jock, the real tale unfolds, featuring the original Red Tornado as he explores the holiday spirit, and Batman regretfully reminiscing his spoiled childhood during Christmastime, as the villainous Funhouse infiltrates homes across the city with little sentient, jewelry-stealing action figures. (What's the difference between his scheme and the twelve bucks I'm paying for Mattel's DC Universe Classics at Wal-Mart? Highway robbery, either way!) Red Tornado's rigidity and characteristically robotic voice offers some comic relief (my girlfriend mentioned her amusement about him the next day, so the gags stuck!), yet a shadow looms over this episode, as viewers see the infamous Crime Alley flashback, obscured for youngsters' sake by the darkness of the alley, yet ironically more ominous and tragic in its ambiguity. Hence, my claim toward DC's inconsistency, which in this case isn't a bad thing at all. A show parents can watch with their kids, and that adult, fanboyfriends* can inflict on their girlfriends? That's pretty bold, considering the dichotomy of today's television.

So, in twenty-two minutes, my girlfriend unwittingly found herself exposed to such new glossary terms as "Ulthoon" and "S.T.A.R. Labs," right alongside familiar imagery like Christmas trees and Santa Claus. The holiday spirit storms your home front every year through the television, really whether you like it or not. The comic book goodness I've loved for years has finally taken the same front, in this case hidden in pretty Christmas wrapping paper for the unsuspecting child in all of us. The Santas have truly invaded.

* Fanboyfriend (noun): a favored male companion obsessed with comic books, toys, video games, et al.

The term has been loosely used on-line, but not yet clearly defined. My New Year's gift to pop culture speak.