Keep It Up: An Anti-List for 2009, part 3

This week gave us Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, the newly appointed Divorce Day, and of course President Obama's inauguration, and as such is pretty much the last week one can pontificate about what's come before in the wake of an exciting new future, so I have a twofold desire to remember the highlights of comics in pop culture last year and to make some comics-specific resolutions for 2009. Although we're only nineteen days deep, these two years already stand in stark contrast to each other. How so, you ask?

First of all, 2008 was a year directed by the influence of comic books (pun intended). Consider that, in a single year, moviegoers had the chance to experience real-world incarnations of Iron Man, the Hulk, Batman, the Punisher, Hellboy, the heroes of Wanted, and the Spirit, not to mention the return of beloved franchises like Speed Racer, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, and the X-Files. Sure, these films represent the gamut of box office success, but each of them equally shared the responsibility of exposing a mainstream audience to characters that are pillars to fanboy culture. Further, from the tragedy of Health Ledger's death to the tabloid interest of David Duchovny's sex addiction, most of these films offered some tidbit that contributed to the grand scheme of entertainment news in 2008, the actual respective movie not withstanding. In short, 2008 took the topics of message boards and late night gaming tournaments and dragged them into the daylight, around the office water cooler. I'm not sure if we geeks should thank '08, or vice versa!

On the flipside, 2009 has become the year comics bend to the news, rather than the other way around. Message boards are abuzz with the current Obama trend in titles like Amazing Spider-man and Savage Dragon, and the cover price debate rages in the face of a challenging economy. Movies like The Watchmen and the resurrection of franchises like Star Trek are certainly stirring the pot, but sans another unfortunate celebrity death, I don't think pop culture will maintain its love affair with comics until the next Iron Man becomes reality. Right now, comics are pop culture's booty call, "blowing it up" only when nothing else is going . . . and some action is better than none.

On the homefront, I appreciated 2008's premiere of MattyCollector.com, Mattel's adult-oriented on-line toy store, primarily featuring DC Superheroes in both realistic and animated forms, and a new He-Man action figure line currently exploiting the characters' classic look via today's advanced action figure sculpting and articulation styles. While the idea of Internet exclusivity sparked debate among earnest fanboys accustomed to scouring Target and Wal-Mart aisles for the latest action figures, the site has been obviously well received, since many of its products are sold out despite arguably high shipping rates. I'm as financially strapped as the next guy, but the chance to own an exclusive, high quality He-Man figure is perhaps the strongest opiate to face my inner child ever . . . and if I'm buying He-Man, he needs a bad guy to fight, right? Masters of the Universe is plural, right?

Therein lies my motivation as a collector for 2009: now, more than ever, collect to my inner child. I began this resolution early, thanks in large part to the latest wave of Marvel Legends action figures. See, when I was a kid, I owned the first wave of Marvel's Secret Wars figures, and since I didn't avidly read comics at the time, those eight toys were my Marvel Universe. Thanks to the now mainstream availability of Kang (and my girlfriend's diligence on eBay to score a Magneto), I decided to recreate those eight characters in modern toy form and effectively end all other Marvel action figure purchases. Mattel's adult-oriented DC and He-Man franchises will remain my only plastic guilty pleasures, so much so that I'll in turn eBay some fringe items in my collection to obtain them all -- or as close as I can get, considering convention exclusives and my own budget. So, while obtaining some of these elusive figures will condemn me to an ongoing crisis, at least trimming the fat of my fanaticism doesn't pit me against a proverbial infinity gauntlet of spending. Yes, I said it!

Regarding comics, the steadfast cornerstone of my collecting compulsions, I aim to continue purchasing series that appeal to my need for relevant stories and dynamic character development. I define "relevant" as all-encompassing; that is, if I can hand a comic book story (whether or not contained in a single issue, or a mini-series, or within an ongoing -- the story withstands any format) to a friend and recommend it as an excellent piece of approachable literature, it's relevant. Joe Kelly's I Kill Giants quickly comes to mind, as those seven issues tell a compelling story about a teenaged girl whose inner turmoil manifests into a fantastic allegorical struggle. If you know the series, you know that the context is socially significant, presented through a filter of dark humor and schoolyard antics many people can understand. Conversely, Grant Morrison's "Batman: R.I.P." stars one of the world's most recognizable icons, but I could never recommend it to a friend. It's too mired in classic Batman continuity to make sense to anyone not familiar with the comics' lore, and it's too dependent on Final Crisis and other events in the DC Universe to retain a self-enclosed identity. If I were to recommend a comic starring a hero driven to avenge the death of his or her parents, one in which the hero is a regular person tests the limit of his or her own abilities even in the face of impossible odds, I'd point to the Luna Brothers' The Sword. It's still a relatively young series with true cinematic potential -- and if it does find it's way to the silver screen, my friends can feel like they were on the ground floor of a brand new franchise!

Of course, I'm still prone to purchasing my guiltiest of pleasures: comics starring superheroes fighting social injustices like illiteracy or gang violence. Expect to see more of those comics here soon . . .

Finally, 2008 brought many changes to personal life, as well -- a few that required me to downsize my living quarters, a trend I understand has afflicted many an economically-challenged fanboy of late. Still, despite the limited space, I've effectively managed to recreate the bedroom I had as a child through an adult standard of organization and functionality. Collecting comics and toys is interesting in its adaptability to life: a boy's bedroom is supposed to have this stuff, and in high school and college the clutter becomes a quirky celebration of pop culture, not without its vulnerability to trends or social rejection -- but for me, that just meant focusing more on practical items like a Spider-man toothbrush over a more lofty purchase like a Bowen bust of Starfox or something. Now, in my late twenties, I've come full circle; I've been saying lately that my Christmas list at 29 differs little from my list from just nine. Kang, He-Man, Hawkman . . . Kids today don't know how good they have it! What does an adult do with a comic book long box tower eleven high? He keeps it up. What does he do with an action figure collection cluttering his shelves?

Keep it up.

The Twelfth Day of Comic-mas: Twelve DC Drummings

Finally! "The 12 Days of Comic-mas" is officially the most overdue holiday celebration ever (in writing, anyway), and I'm as eager for it to end as you are! We have a whole new year of graphic goodness to tackle, and with an upcoming President appearing in comic books as frequently as Wolverine guest-starred in every Marvel title from the '90s, we're on the verge of truly experiencing a comic a day in one way or another. Still, first things first: this season's DCU Holiday Special, which, ironically, coincidentally, or both, boasts twelve stories on its table of contents (excluding the beautiful cover by Frank Quitely, and crisp table of contents by letterer Travis Lanham. Since this is the most bountiful anthology I've ever reviewed (not necessarily in page length but in said titled content), I've decided that the most effective way of reviewing this issue is through a succinct "top 12" countdown, like the very twelve days of Christmas that inspired this snail's pace series of entries.

Here we go!

12. "Introduction" -- A splash page featuring the Kents: Ma and Clark greeting a dressed-as-Santa Supergirl at the front door, while in the background Lois and Lana pet Krypto by the tree. I assume writer Sterling Gates simply told artist Karl Kerschl what to draw, and that it didn't sound much different than, "A splash page featuring the Kents: Ma and Clark greeting a dressed-as-Santa Supergirl at the front door, while in the background Lois and Lana pet Krypto by the tree."

11. "The Man in Red" -- Beautifully illustrated by Ivan Reis and Joe Prado, this allegory likens Superman's origins to Santa's, from the powers of flight and "seeing when you are sleeping" via X-ray vision, to the benevolence of selfless do-gooding, to even the arctic hideaway, a parallel I hadn't considered before. Still, this ambitious tale is purely conceptual, and considering its beautiful renderings, I would've appreciated a little more linear substance, i.e. a story.

10. "Somewhere Beyond the Sea" -- Aquaman summons a huge octopus to vanquish some pirates that have tried to hijack a man and his pregnant wife at sea. A good old-fashioned Aquaman story like this would've been a gift in itself, but that the woman's unborn child is somehow royal, and that our hero inadvertently becomes one of the "three kings" paying respect to him, is a holiday twist that pulls off such allegory a little better than the previous tale.

9. "Good King Wenceslas" -- I'll never bad mouth Paul Dini. Ever. But this Batman-oriented fairy tale confused me. Dustin Nguyen's painted artwork is breath-taking, though -- a visual masterpiece that elevates the whole anthology.

8. "A Day Without Sirens" -- Joe Kelly has found another fan in me this year, between I Kill Giants and the potential of Four Eyes. In this short story, Gotham City Police actually experience an entire day without a single 911 call, an initiative advertised by a private party that pull off an emergency-free twenty-four hours. I won't spoil it only to say that the responsible party has a special interest in Gordon's and Batman's happiness. Consequently, I felt some, too.

7. "It's a Wonderful Night" is a cheesy Nightwing/Robin story that seemed a few years behind the times, if not for Tim's grief over the death of his father. Nightwing's Christmas gift for him is lame, something a new Robin would never really need and could frankly see in the Batcave anytime he wanted.

6. "Christmas with the Beetles" -- I've heard of a few comics coming out this year that spotlight or are told from the perspective of villains, and this story kicks off that trend effectively with one thug's family legacy of encountering the Blue Beetle legacy! It's a quaint tale of redemption and intervention, one that addresses the concept that, if heroes experience different incarnation and identities, so must even the lowest of goons. And change could be for the best.

5. "An Angel Told Me" -- In this Huntress story, her alter ego is the real hero. A high school teacher by day, the Huntress decides to guide a bully toward responsibility by taking down his abusive father and supervising his community service, which she swerves to actually serve him. By day, I work with children, too, so I was touched by this story's heart, and the acknowledgement that some heroics can be accomplished without fisticuffs, before nightfall, and after school.

4. "The Night Before Christmas" -- I haven't been following the Teen Titans latest series, let alone their latest roster, so this story, mired in their continuity, starred a bunch of strangers to me. Robin, Wonder Girl, Blue Beetle . . . sure, I know them, but I wonder how influential the Teen Titans relationships really are in comparison to these youngster's respectively solo tales. As apparently easy as it is for the entire DCU to fight a cosmic crisis, try getting something as simple as a romance to transcend a single writer's motivation.

3. "Party Animal" -- This current Justice League tale reads more like a classic Justice League International yarn, thanks in large part to Kevin Maguire's expressive art, but writer Alan Burnett spares no comical expense in detailing the Shaggy Man's happenstance participation in our heroes' annual Christmas party. Simple, fun.

2. "Let There Be Light" struck me as more of a pitch for a solo Dr. Light series than a contribution to a holiday anthology, and I wish it preceded the Justice League story rather than end this otherwise generally enjoyable issue. Not that the story wasn't good, but it wasn't good enough to wrap things up, nor was it comprehensive in spirit or scope. Rodolfo Migliari's photo-realistic art was muddy at times, too, seemingly incomplete at times -- actually pretty dark for a story about light, but that might've been the point I missed.

1. "Ending" -- This issue ends as it began, with a pin-up. From one lookout point in the orbiting Justice League satellite, Superman and Stargirl smile upon Green Lantern and Hawkman, in another wing of the Watchtower. Sans some hanging ribbon and DC's corporate good tidings, the scene is actually pretty creepy . . .

Yet perhaps this page is also indicative of the superhero holiday anthology phenomenon, and how the characters we know and love can only touch upon the spirit of Christmas, watch it from a safe distance, lest one of the two mired mythologies consume the other in a tale of imbalanced fantasy. Superman, Batman, and company are like any family that visit for the holidays; it's great to see them, but after awhile, you just can't wait for them to leave so you can really enjoy the yuletide. Even superheroes can only save the day . . . by flying away!

DCU Holiday Special was published for February 2009 by DC Comics and was written and illustrated by too many talented contributors to list here!

The Eleventh Day of Comic-mas: Christmas Pays the Piper!

Christmas is definitely the neediest of holidays. It always needs saving! Threats from thieving grinches or embittered Scrooges plague Christmas almost as much as tidings of comfort and joy! So, when I saw the title to Archibald Saves Christmas, I predicted that the issue would follow the usual formula: villain tries to vanquish the holidays, underdog hero stands against him, villain caves to the overwhelming feelings of good cheer around him. Boy, was I wrong.

Archibald Saves Christmas is actually the first of now several one-shots starring Archibald Aardvark, a down-and-out cartoon star from the earliest days of American animation, when Micky was still a dot-eyed tugboat captain. Archibald was accused of killing his brother/co-star, and as his other co-stars were mysteriously slain, he was driven nuts by the suspicions and apparent conspiracy against him. In this issue, the studio signs Archibald to a new picture with Santa Claus, who rightfully fears for his life but also takes pity on the wayward aardvark. Santa's always been a softy that way.

Archibald is rife with paradox, from its dynamic visuals to the very context of its story. First of all, its plot is at heart a murder mystery and spares no expense in exposing the blood and guts that come with a crime scene. At the same time, its characters are all cutesy cartoons, hailed from the glory days of Disney, Warner Brothers, or Fleischer Studios, complete with a charcoal-style shading indicative of old black-and-white film. Further, despite the title, Archibald is barely lucid enough to save his own career, let alone Christmas. Spoiler alert: Santa dies, and although Archie apparently catches the real killer that has been tormenting his career, Christmas is inexplicably left in the wind. Understandably, the holiday season is just a backdrop for the story and a gimmick to attract readership, no doubt, but I'm still concerned. What person ruled by their inner child wouldn't want to know about the potentially fatal fate of Christmas?

Finally, I feel compelled to keep the culmination of this issue's story a secret, in case folks that haven't read the Archibald series decide to take it on, but I'm genuinely confused by the final panels' "twist." It actually doesn't leave me in any kind of suspense at all, but rather ties things up quite nicely, yet the dialogue implies more to the mystery. Gah, it's hard to explain -- chalk it up to another of the issue's many paradoxes. If someone can shoot me a comment to clarify, I'd appreciate it. You'd save my Christmas, at the very least.

Overall, Archibald Saves Christmas is a fun issue that kicks off an undoubtedly fun series of one-shots, and you haven't seen cartoon characters this "real" since Top Shelf's Three Fingers, which in tone is practically a companion piece. In spite of my inner child's old flights of fancy, I'm glad old cartoon characters like these don't inhabit our world. TMZ has already proven we can barely contain human celebrities! An aardvark with a murder rap stumbling out of the Ivy? That would just beat all, folks.

Archibald Saves Christmas was published in December 2007 by Image Comics and was written by Dwight L. MacPherson, illustrated by Grant Bond, and lettered by Jason Hanley.

The Tenth Day of Comic-mas: Terror Learns a Lesson!

Christmas isn't a holiday void of fear. Shoppers desperately scrambling for the perfect gift, families frantically cleaning their homes for the big dinner, children staying up Christmas Eve night with their fingers crossed . . . behaviors all rooted in fear. Fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of disappointment. Everybody can relate to at least one of those fears, and most can probably add to the list. Consider the characters in this special holiday issue of Terror Inc.

In Terror Inc., a mob informant on death row is afraid his family will experience the holidays without him, so he hires Terror to utilize a few of his posthumous body parts and create a final Christmas memory. Huh? Apparently, Terror is a creature that can attach others' body parts to his and experience their skills and memories -- which comes in handy when the mob tries to capture the informant's family, and Terror uses that failed Olympic track star's legs to race them down, and that circus bearded lady's whiskers to disguise himself as Santa Claus. In the end, the typically greedy, naturally creepy Terror softens up a bit, bringing down the mob and giving the informant's family something to remember him by, in the form of holiday origami figurines about the house. It's the warmest feeling a comic book like this can offer its readers, I suppose, particularly at Christmastime.

I pulled Terror Inc. #8 from a discount bin several months ago, drawn to its twisted holiday imagery, not to mention the clever cover blurb: "You'd better not shout, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout, get ready to die . . ." I'd never heard of Terror, though, so I was grateful for the classic Marvel-style exposition that somehow incorporates the title character's powers or origins into the natural dialogue of the story. The ability to take and use body parts is Frankenstein-esque in its appeal, but Terror himself is pretty peculiar looking, his face adorned with these odd whiskers that demand as much explanation as his abilities, but they're still a mystery to me. Since he teeters the border between life and death . . . are they for balance?

Fortunately, this issue was well balanced, between the semblance of holiday nostalgia it sought to evoke while also offering the right amount of carnage its faithful readers undoubtedly expected from its monthly installments. Oh, no, not that Carnage, who was just rising to popularity in Amazing Spider-man -- but Terror Inc. apparently does tether itself to the Marvel Universe with a Wolverine team-up next issue. If I ever see that ish, I'll consider picking it up, to see how a gruesome hero like Terror finds his place in the Marvel Universe. Obviously, he isn't around anymore . . . but considering the recent trend to resurrect apparently failed or C-list characters in both the DC and Marvel realms, I wouldn't be surprised if we see him again.

Fear has a way of doing that. Even during the most wonderful time of the year, terror always finds a way to rear its ugly head.

Terror Inc. #8 was published in February 1993 by Marvel Comics and was written by D.G. Chichester, illustrated by Horacio Ottolini, lettered by Steve Dutro and Rick Parker, and colored by Steve Buccellato.

The Ninth Day of Comic-mas: Fine Ladies for Ransom!

By most standards, Claus #1 is not a really good comic book. The script is long-winded and plagued with melodrama and flat humor, the art is amateurish and lacks the dynamic inking its ambitions dimensions demand, and the digital effects are comparable to something generated in a Microsoft Publisher basics course. To its credit, the issue is published on nice paper and well bound . . .! I'm usually not this critical of comics I dislike, and in fact the negativity ends there, but I don't think the harshness is out of line since this issue is eleven years old and surely its contributors have developed as artists by now. No, just as Claus himself puts most of his efforts in the good list rather than the bad, I do want to focus on this story's strengths, because it certainly does have a few . . .

. . . namely, its contributions to the Santa Claus legend. Most comic books starring the Jolly One attempt to add something to Santa's fantastic story, from Paul Dini's creation of St. Nick's daughter Jingle Belle, to DC's latest holiday special aligning his origin to Superman's -- a rather confusing tale in its allegorical parallels, actually, because I'm not sure what doomed icy alien planet Father Christmas is really from. Thankfully, Claus opts to focus on Santa's current digs in the North Pole, specifically the fact that, if inherently good, fantasy-oriented characters like St. Nick exist, evil ones do, too, and further that those baddies would be out for Santa's powerful resources for their own ends. In this case, a band of militant orcs storm Santa's village and demand he use his mass-production resources to make guns and other weapons. Take that, Saddam!

Also, when the orcs infiltrate Santa's shop, they manhandle Mrs. Claus, who in this incarnation is not the frumpy homebody most holiday tales make her out to be. Artist John Kennedy Bowden draws every woman in this issue like a ten, from the scientist excavating in the North Pole near the Claus residence, to Mrs. Claus herself, to even an ice sculpture Frosty the Snowman tries to hit on. Interestingly, and the funniest part of the issue albeit most likely unintentionally, the missus still calls Santa "Papa," like in those cartoons of old, adding a whole new dimension to the phrase "Sugar Daddy," assuming Santa really likes his cookies. Further, the Draco Comics logo is basically a naked lady holding a gun, which reinforces the company's slogan on this issue's back cover: "The comic book your mother did not want you to read!" I can certainly appreciate an indie publisher's attempt to corner a definitively adult market, but the overtly sexual imagery is too insistent -- perhaps the butt of its own joke.

Okay, so I had one more point of criticism. Let it be recorded that I expressed this issue's potential, that the concept and story in themselves were interesting . . . and who doesn't want to see Frosty and Rudolph kicking a little tail to save Christmas? We were raised on this imagery, and while it was much more innocent when we were kids, I don't blame Draco for trying to mature the material with its audience, even at the risk of its own peril. As I mentioned earlier, I'm interested in how these artists have matured since Claus, too. Who knows? They might yet make my "nice list."

Claus #1 was published in December 1997 by Draco Comics and was written and illustrated by John Kennedy Bowden.

The Eighth Day of Comic-mas: Milking What Makes a Hero

What if you could get super powers for Christmas? No, I don't mean the '80s toy line (though that would still be pretty cool), but rather real-life super powers, distributed by a fringe scientific laboratory specializing in nano-technology? Enter the Power & Glory Holiday Special. In it, Plex/Biomatrix, the organization responsible for giving the world a real superhero in A-pex, "the American Powerhouse," raffles off an opportunity to be a similar superhero for a week, and just our luck, a religious fanatic wins. Only in America!

If that doesn't say "Christmas" enough, Epiphany St. McMiracle (yes, that's her name) leads the First Church of the Internet -- I wonder if its high holy holiday is Cyber Monday -- and after a week's worth of temple-constructing (which beats the old car wash method of raising building funds!), she decides to skip the powering-down process and keep her new abilities . . . like we couldn't see that coming. Just like a spoiled brat on Christmas morn, she refuses to share, and the token fight between her and corporate vigilante Michael Gorski ensues. Fortunately, the scientists that created the super nano-bots weren't dumb enough to overlook the need for a fail safe -- a clever little lyric that disbands McMiracle's molecular structure for good. It's definitely the "ew" moment of the season.

I've never read Power & Glory before, so I can't tell if the tone of its holiday special is the norm for this series (or if I understand the characters' role correctly), but I rather enjoyed the heavy context of this issue's story in contrast to its light-hearted, even satirical tone. From Plex/Biomatrix's marketing of the super-lottery, to the page interviewing celebrities on what they'd do with powers (Nixon's is the best: "If I were super, I'd still be here."), to Gorski's pontifications on the dangers of religion -- this issue tackles a topic world-shattering in proportion and boils it down to social commentary and superhero spectacle, all with an air of holiday cheer. And while there's nothing overtly Christmas about the whole thing, the pomp in contrast to this story's circumstance is enough to maintain a semblance of good cheer even in the midst of potential cyber-religious terrorism.

So, what's the moral of this little holiday parable? Well, super powers are only half of what makes a super hero, of course. I mean, geez, it's already over three weeks after Christmas, and how many of your new toys have you broken, lost, or exchanged for store credit? (I've almost lost my new mp3 player twice!) How responsible would any of us be with flight, or super strength? Keep the power . . . it's not worth the glory!

Power & Glory Holiday Special was published in December 1994 by Malibu Comics and was written and illustrated by Howard Chaykin, lettered by Ken Bruzenak, and colored by Bu' Tones.

The Seventh Day of Comic-mas: Frankensteins A' Dini!

Oh, I know what you're thinking: "Finishing your supposed '12 Days of Comic-mas' is an exercise in futility now! Christmas came and went two weeks ago! Let it go!" Ah, Christmas itself may be nothing more than a 90% clearance sale at Target now, but the 12 days of Christmas ended a mere two days ago, on the holiday known as the Epiphany, or Little Christmas. The 12 days of Christmas actually begin on Christmas Day and countdown to January 6, the day many religions celebrate the three wise men's arrival to that infamous manger, and their gift-giving to the little baby Jesus. So, if anybody really is keeping track, I was a good five posts early, and now just a mere six posts behind . . . which isn't really different than pivoting around December 25 anyway. Oh, just grant me the New Year's guilty pleasure of prolonging the holiday season as long as possible, okay? Who says you can't resurrect the most wonderful time of the year . . . any time of year?

Speaking of resurrection, the latest Christmas comic book I've read was also the latest installment in Paul Dini's annual adventures of Santa Claus's little known daughter Jingle Belle. Santa vs. Frankenstein is a light-hearted one-shot that takes a stab at the recent "holiday crossover" phenomenon, perhaps best known from the Tim Burton film The Nightmare Before Christmas. While Halloween isn't mentioned overtly, Frankenstein is undoubtedly a mascot for the hallowed holiday, capturing its haunting spirit. Further, Jing's best friend is Polly Green, the self-appointed "official witch of Halloween," so what's a few months between pals? No, Dini was right to bring the two seemingly contrasting mythologies together. Think about the way we teach the holidays to children, the way we maintain and illustrate holiday tradition; we've essentially asserted that a realm of fantastic characters work parallel to our year, ringing in the new year, then making people fall in love, then granted folks good luck, etc. Why wouldn't these characters work in concert? Heck, we're lucky they haven't unionized and gone on strike! How would a Santa scab hit all those homes on Christmas night?

In Santa vs. Frankenstein, the real St. Nick is facing a similar dilemma, his output distracted by an anti-Santa special interest group making a successful effort to ban the jolly old elf from Christmas! If only his daughter were at her sock monkey assembly line, and not whimsically skiing, where she stumbles onto the frozen form of the Frankenstein monster! She brings the goliath home, where Santa makes the wayward weirdo feel welcome by putting him in charge of assembling goth toys. When Franky discovers the anti-Santa plot, he relates the torch-wielding conspiracy and attempts to foil it, inadvertently giving St. Nick a chance to publicly fight "a monster" and save the day. It's a win-win, as both Santa Claus and Frankenstein reinforce a world friendly to these figureheads of fantasy.

Paul Dini's writing is both jovial and poignant when necessary, and his love for old animation is obvious through artist Stephanie Gladden's traditional stylings. Paul Dini has influenced some of my favorite franchises, from Masters of the Universe to of course Batman: The Animated Series, and his ability to contribute to both the Christmas and Frankenstein mythologies is not only no surprise, but a pleasant holiday treat, to boot. Interestingly, based on his back-page essay, this issue launches his "Dinicartoons" imprint, a subset of Top Cow Productions featuring titles by Dini and his fellow favorite writers and artists. I'm actually surprised that he took this long to accept such an offer, that his ability to spearhead franchises didn't inspire him to create his own until now. Still, you know the old saying . . . and when it comes to a monster like Frankenstein finding a home or a little ol' blogger like me wrapping up a Christmas series, it certainly applies . . .

Better late than never.

Jingle Belle: Santa vs. Frankenstein was pubished in December 2008 by Image Comics and was written by Paul Dini, illustrated by Stephanie Gladden, colored by Felix Serrano, and lettered by Troy Peteri.

The Sixth Day of Comic-mas: Sick Secret Santas!

Made-for-television Christmas specials are a holiday season staple, from stop-motion animation classics like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to more traditionally animated shorts like A Charlie Brown Christmas. Considering how quickly these specials and their featured characters have become household names in the grand scheme of holiday mythology, it makes sense that other similarly popular characters would try to make their impression during Christmastime -- characters like the Powerpuff Girls with their 'Twas the Fight Before Christmas, or Batman in the recent The Brave and the Bold episode "Invasion of the Secret Santas!" Originally aired on December 12, the episode has been saved in my girlfriend's TiVo since, and I recently watched it again with her . . . which became a gift in itself, as the show introduced her to aspects of the DC Universe she'd never otherwise experience.

So, yes, I'm going to review "Invasion of the Secret Santas!" for my patented Twelve Days of Comic-mas. I know it's not a comic book, but it's a definitively comic-based property, and I don't mind braving the deviation. Heh.

First of all, I think I've seen every The Brave and the Bold episode so far (thanks to the aforementioned TiVo), and I've enjoyed the series' campy look -- a welcome alternative to the Dark Knight's other most recent animated incarnation, The Batman. While that show set the new standard for rockin' opening credits sequence, even riffing the Adam West "biff"/"pow" effects via electric guitar, it suffered from comparisons to its beloved predecessor, Batman: The Animated Series, whose continuity ran concurrent to The Batman through Justice League Unlimited anyway, thus perpetually overshadowing it. In my opinion, The Batman's greatest nemesis was its inconsistency between kid-friendly, action-oriented stories and its shallow attempts at continuity-oriented character development, two aims not necessarily exclusive but difficult to balance in any given twenty-two minute Saturday morning cartoon. In the end, The Batman was really just a commercial for new character designs and related franchising, relegated to waiting for Robin until Teen Titans was canceled then hastily introducing a Justice League to follow in its older brother's footsteps, to no avail.

But this really has nothing to do with The Brave and the Bold, if only to contrast that this newer series has shed the skin of any preceding molds and has found the balance between appealing to kids by embracing the Batman camp of the Silver Age, and beckoning to fans with DC's B- and C-list heroes. (Interesting, the recent "Batman: R.I.P." arc mined old presumably forsaken Silver Age material, too, though not necessarily in a kid-friendly way.) This is the magic of watching Etrigan the Demon brawling with knights and dragons. Further, the series' format essentially grants viewers two adventures, a brief brawl prior to the opening credits, then a more developed plot afterward. In "Invasions of the Secret Santas," viewers see Batman and Blue Beetle best the Sportsmaster, then the Dark Knight and Red Tornado take down the toy-mastering Funhouse (apparently actually spelled "Fun Haus," but I'm going phonetically, here). Talk about playing to a child's short attention span!

Further, enter: my girlfriend's exposure to the DC Universe, in all its inconsistently campy glory. "The Sportsmaster is a weird idea for a character," she mused as we watched the baddie trap competitive bowlers in big, clear pin-shaped cages. After Bats and the new Blue Beetle take down the jerky jock, the real tale unfolds, featuring the original Red Tornado as he explores the holiday spirit, and Batman regretfully reminiscing his spoiled childhood during Christmastime, as the villainous Funhouse infiltrates homes across the city with little sentient, jewelry-stealing action figures. (What's the difference between his scheme and the twelve bucks I'm paying for Mattel's DC Universe Classics at Wal-Mart? Highway robbery, either way!) Red Tornado's rigidity and characteristically robotic voice offers some comic relief (my girlfriend mentioned her amusement about him the next day, so the gags stuck!), yet a shadow looms over this episode, as viewers see the infamous Crime Alley flashback, obscured for youngsters' sake by the darkness of the alley, yet ironically more ominous and tragic in its ambiguity. Hence, my claim toward DC's inconsistency, which in this case isn't a bad thing at all. A show parents can watch with their kids, and that adult, fanboyfriends* can inflict on their girlfriends? That's pretty bold, considering the dichotomy of today's television.

So, in twenty-two minutes, my girlfriend unwittingly found herself exposed to such new glossary terms as "Ulthoon" and "S.T.A.R. Labs," right alongside familiar imagery like Christmas trees and Santa Claus. The holiday spirit storms your home front every year through the television, really whether you like it or not. The comic book goodness I've loved for years has finally taken the same front, in this case hidden in pretty Christmas wrapping paper for the unsuspecting child in all of us. The Santas have truly invaded.

* Fanboyfriend (noun): a favored male companion obsessed with comic books, toys, video games, et al.

The term has been loosely used on-line, but not yet clearly defined. My New Year's gift to pop culture speak.

The Fifth Day of Comic-mas: Five Gory Things

Yes, "the twelve days of comic-mas" isn't moving along nearly as fast as the actually holiday season is, but I've been distracted by another holiday countdown: my twelve nights of consecutive karaoke. I'm determined to finish these reviews, though, and I've given myself until New Year's Day to do so. Heck, if you follow some religious traditions, Christmas doesn't technically end until January 6, dubbed Little Christmas, which honors the arrival of the Wise Men. I hope it doesn't come to that, but if so thank the Catholics for their thorough celebrations. Moving on . . .

For children and geeks alike, toys are a critical part of the Christmas holiday. When I was a child, I anxiously awaited the army of action figures that waited for me under the tree, and some twenty-five years later, my wish list hasn't changed a bit: Green Lantern, Aquaman, He-Man, Beast-Man. The figures have changed quite a bit, though -- from the old, practically-bound-by-rubber bands Masters of the Universe guys to the new, finely sculpted and articulated Matty Collector line, or from the old "squeeze my legs" Super Powers to the new DC Universe Classics. Also, the rite of acquisition has changed; my mother doesn't comb department store aisles for these figure anymore, but opts to give the cash and the deed to that hunt, which is just as well, considering the Target or Wal-Mart exclusivity of these toys. Now, rather than run downstairs to the Christmas tree, I'm running to the toy aisle at Target, but that eager feeling is just the same.

So, ACG's Christmas Horror special resonates more so than usual, as its cover depicts a creepy Santa unloading severed heads from his sack, and its contents feature four stories of creepy toys. Children often dream of intercepting Santa, and this cover image twists it to represent an issue of harrowing potential. Thankfully, the stories don't disappoint, though I am confused as to whether the material is new or reprinted, since its production quality is relatively low, rife with muddied lettering and/or shading. Either way, if the effect is intended to mimic pre-Comics Code horror, or if these tales were dug up from genuinely classic anthologies, bravo. I'm sure a brief Internet search would reveal the truth, but the mystery is just as enjoyable -- which is what keeps most kids from spying on Santa in the first place.

I should also note that many of these tales reminded me of the classic Twilight Zone episode "Living Doll" starring Teddy Savalas. It's definitely one of the series' best; look it up if you haven't seen it.

To sum up these terrifying tales of holiday horror: The first features a kid that thwarts an airplane hijacking by bringing his action figures to life. In what seems like The Indian and the Cupboard on acid, the terrorists are picked off by the likes of an incarnated pirate, caveman, knight, and the like. In the end, the child is revealed as death itself -- a cop out of a twist, but it isn't the end of this story the reader is meant to enjoy, but the means.

In "Terrible Teddy," a bank robber accidentally runs over and kills a boy on his pursuit from the police, but before the fuzz can catch him, the child's tattered teddy bear does the burglar in, first by way of the crook's own paranoia, then with fangs, claws, and good old fashioned revenge-fueled malling. Where was "My Buddy" when those kids picked on me in elementary school, eh?

"The Thing Some Kids Dream Up!" is the most ambitious and elusive of the issue's stories, since the cause of its fright isn't rightly explained, if only through the motivations of the supernatural. Instead, this is the simply a story of a child's nightmares made manifest, then of his own bravery in defeating them when his father steps into the crossfire. Its illustrations were also different than the others, the line work more crisp and less characteristic of a traditional classic.

Finally, the last of the four stories also stars a teddy bear, one direly devoted to its childish master. In this case, the teddy becomes the presumably imaginary friend to the neglected child of wealthy parents, and when the butlers implements the girl's abduction and attempted ransom, the bear strikes! In her sudden absence, the parents also realize their faults and vow to become better parents, and the bear . . . well, it finds another child to "save." The open-ended nature of this tale is the best way to end the issue overall.

Interestingly, only that last yarn has an element of Christmas in it; the others simply boasts influential, haunted toys. Again, though, it's the cover that ties it all together, transporting the mind back to that first moment under the Christmas tree. Heck, think about the way you approached those gifts, eager to rip open the wrapping . . . filling the room with the sounds of that tearing, then casting one gift aside with a hungry drive to get to the next . . . those precious childhood Christmas mornings are just as savage and violent as the stuff of a horror story! That the beast still dwells inside some of us, and prowls unsuspected department store aisles . . . beware those that stand between me and the DC Universe Classics Batman Beyond . . .!

Christmas Horror was published by Avalon Communications in 1999 and features the talents of Mike Zeck, Joe Molloy, Joe Gill, Pat Boyette, Nicola Cutti, Jack Abel, and others.

The Fourth Day of Comic-mas: The Fantastic Four Calling

Now that we know how the Punisher's Christmas went (in a word, badly), how does the rest of the Marvel Universe celebrate this merriest of holidays? Well, if the 2005 Marvel Holiday Special is any indication, they celebrate it together; after all, before any civil wars or Skrull invasions, the Marvel Universe began with a family, the Fantastic Four. Appropriately, the Storms star in two of the three tales in this issue, sandwiching a New Avengers story that boasts more heart than necessary. But every issue begins with its cover, and I just have to say . . .

Stuart Immonen offers a crisp, festive image of Spider-man and the Fantastic Four decorating a Christmas tree, the Thing hoisting it up, and Reed stretching to its top with a luminous star . . . but Johnny is garnishing the shrub with . . . flame? Uhm, most folks do their darnedest to avoid setting their trees on fire! His sister is adorning the branches with . . . invisible ornaments? Er, sure -- the next time I bring a tree home, I'm going to leave it be and tell everyone to enjoy my decor courtesy the Baxter building. Of course, Spidey is stringing up with patented web-balls (oh, grow up people), which is fine considering the source, but generally a web-covered tree isn't one you want, unless the nursery offers a pre-purchase bug extermination. So, long story short, while the illustration definitely captures the Christmas spirit, it practices very little practicality. Of course, superheroes are used to crises, so what's a scorched tree compared to, say, a city-wide Santa-napping epidemic?

Such is the plight of Marvel's first family, as the Mole Man's Moloids kidnap mall Santas around the city in an attempt to find their missing master, who uttered St. Nick's name before his sudden disappearance. While Reed, Sue, and Johnny are content tracking down the Moloids' lair for a good old fashioned Christmas clobbering, Ben embraces the spirit of the season and pursues a more civil solution. His detective work uncovers the Mole Man's grandmother, who reveals that the villain's grandfather dressed as Santa during the holidays -- a grandfather with distinctly arched, Namor-like eyebrows. The Thing recruits the sea king to help him appease the Moloids, assuring peace on earth for all above and below the earth . . . but what of Mole Man himself? The catalyst of this tale rests on a splash page gag that fell flat with me, since Christmas comics are usually throw-away one-shots anyway.

The following story, a New Avengers story, embodies the other side of that coin, as a wayward Stark Industries scientist uses an old Ultron husk to create a real-life Santa -- a Santron -- with dangerous results. Before the fight before Christmas, the Avengers banter with ongoing gags about kissing Spider-Woman under the mistletoe and refusing B-listers like Gravity their invitation to the party, then Santron comes down the chimney. Spidey and Ant-Man concoct an awesome scheme to trick the Kringle-bot into submission, and its memory banks reveal its creator -- enter the overwhelming, unnecessary holiday-infused origin, in which that Stark scientist scorns Santa's falsehood and invests her own tangible alternative. What the story took a page to explore, a single caption of emotional inner monologue would've accomplished just as effectively. Ah, well, if the holidays are about anything else, it's overindulgence.

Which explains the third story, which uses a more traditional storytelling technique, namely the rhyming scheme of a carol or nursery rhyme, to tell the same tale we'd just read two times already -- the villainous act justified by the holiday spirit, thus excused by the superheroes that made everything okay. In this case, the Fantastic Four thwart their old, presumably reformed foe the Hurricane in the midst of his stealing toys for his poor kids; again, the Thing asserts compassion, but the tale makes little effort to offer that any of the heroes actually compensated the store for the few items that caught the eye of the Hurricane. Now, that's one way to beat the Black Friday crowd: just break in to your local department store on Christmas Eve!

Of course, these criticisms are intended with as much good humor as these yarns themselves; watching our favorite superheroes celebrate the holidays humanizes these icons. Whereas we geeks fantasize what it's like to be like them, in this case we get to watch them act like us, stressed about shopping and Christmas parties, frustrated by the plights of those less fortunate, generally wishing the best tidings for all around us. If only everyone had family that could make themselves invisible from time to time . . .!

Marvel Holiday Special #7 was published for February 2006 by Marvel Comics and is by Mike Carey, Mike Perkins, Laura Martin, Dave Lanphear, Jeff Parker, Reilly Brown, Pat Davidson, Christina Strain, Shaenon Garrity, Roger Langridge, Al Gordon, and Sotocolor's J. Brown.

The Third Day of Comic-mas: Three Franks Hence

The release of The Punisher Xmas Special two weeks ago and Punisher: War Zone in theaters that Friday definitely put the red back in the red and green decor of the Christmas season, and I'm just talking about all the blood spatter. Punisher: War Zone didn't even make the top five movies of the weekend, and as an opening movie, that's sadly disheartening. Now, it's become the third least grossing Marvel film, behind Howard the Duck and Elektra. I saw War Zone at its first midnight showing, which I try to do for every mainstream cinematic comic book adaptation, so my initial impression was clouded by fatigue. Awake and aware now, I confess that I really liked the flick . . . and apparently I'm in the minority.

Back up. Punisher: War Zone suffers from the recently dubbed "requel" syndrome -- it expands an established franchise without acknowledgement of, and makes a subtle effort to redo, previously established material. Batman Begins did this, The Incredible Hulk did this, and this film does, too, all with good reason. Regarding Batman and the Hulk, both characters had experienced so many different on-screen incarnations that screenwriters and directors, like Tim Burton and Ang Lee, felt little reservation for putting their own spin on their adaptations. While the result is a movie that best captures the director's style, it also becomes a dated representation of the character, like all the rest. However, the Punisher benefits from a little discontinuity between films, because he is essentially an one-dimensional character. He shoots bad guys. The end. Why have three Punisher films to date if the story is basically the same, if not to allow different directors their take at the anti-hero?

Now, I've never seen the Dolph Lundgren Punisher, but I've heard things. Personally, I had my fill of Dolph in Masters of the Universe, and my inner child, as disappointed as even he was in that movie, can't accept He-Man playing Frank Castle. So, the Thomas Jane vehicle of a few years ago was my first on-screen Punisher, and, while I wasn't disappointed, I did find a few fanboy-nagging flaws with the film. I was grateful for the mining of Garth Ennis' Welcome Back, Frank, but I couldn't swallow the tropical Florida setting. Also, Jane's Punisher suffered from B-list actor syndrome -- when a better established actor is cast as the villain. (Nicholson's Joker is the classic example; on the 1989 Batman movie posters, his name trumps Keaton's, and Keaton is the hero, the title character!) While we see familiar faces like the Russian and Spacker Dave, they take a backseat to the Punisher's foe, whose familiar face is, well, John Travolta, which disconnected me from the film every time he appeared on screen. Finally, the Punisher uses a bow and arrow. I know his arsenal is extensive, but when that shot was one of the movie's first promo stills, I was ill at ease. Call me shallow.

Enter Punisher: War Zone, which I think became a requel when Jane pulled out of the project, and all the better at least for my little qualms with its predecessor. In this incarnations, we're spared the origin story and instead see the Castles' killings via flashback -- thankfully, in Central Park where it belongs. Yes, welcome back, Frank, indeed . . . to New York, to supporting characters like Microchip and Detective Soap, to a familiar nemesis like Jigsaw. Sure, the violence was campy, but I don't know why fans of films like From Dust 'Til Dawn wouldn't dig it. Sure, Dominic West's performance was over the top (the best comparison I read on a message board likened West's Jigsaw to Tommy Lee Jones' Two-Face), but the things he says are comparable with any funnybook foe on a vengeful tirade. I'm truly perplexed why War Zone didn't have a similar opening weekend to the likes of Daredevil or Ghost Rider? While all Marvel movies are not equal in quality and storytelling ability, aren't all Marvel fans at least willing to give them an equal chance?

Of course, the most beloved incarnation of Frank Castle remains in his native comics, yet even that original Punisher has experienced experimentation for popularity's sake. Remember when Punny died and came back as a spirit of vengeance? Consider Hollywood's challenge, sifting through decades' worth of material to create ninety minutes that both consolidate the character's essence for longtime fans yet capture a new audience with a fresh appeal, too. I can imagine a similar challenge for the one writing Punisher's annual Christmas special, since the holiday one-shot appeals to holiday-spirited fanboys like me, vaguely familiar with Castle's roots, along with those regular readers. At this point, I suppose the Punisher Max Xmas Special has been categorically more successful than the film that followed. By way of body count, Frank is the gift that keeps on giving.

I actually anticipated the Punisher Max Xmas Special some weeks ago when I saw preview pages up at Comic Book Resources. Roland Boschi's art is gritty and energetic, and when I read the story's synopsis, I had high hopes for its potential for allegory. My wishes were fulfilled, as Punisher strives to deliver a baby in the crosshairs of a gang war, in a Herod-like attempt to eradicate the son of a premiere crime family. Of course the Punisher takes the expectant parents to a manger (in a race track, but still), where, despite (or because of) the birth of their innocent baby, they get their just desserts, too. It's a fast-paced tale rife with violence and holiday symbolism -- in other words, it's the most wonderful time of the year.

Not so much for Marvel cinema. MSN has an article about the future of comic book adaptations, and whether or not the future is bright. Please. The Punisher has killed a lot of things, but comic book film adaptations aren't one of them -- in any incarnation.

Punisher MAX Christmas Special was published by Marvel Comics for February 2009 and was written by Jason Aaron, illustrated by Roland Boschi, colored by Daniel Brown, and lettered by VC's Cory Petit.

The Second Day of Comic-mas: Two Turtles’ Woes

By 1990, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles easily usurped the Masters of the Universe as my action figure line of choice. As toy packages often demand, I scrambled to “collect them all!” Christmas was a pivotal time of year to achieve this goal, as long as my parents and grandparents understood where to find a “Mutagen Man.” Of course, fellow fanboys recognize the early ‘90s as the Golden Age of TMNT mania, with the live action film, beloved cartoon series, and all avenues of franchising thrusting our heroes out of their shell and into America’s hearts. To think, it all started as an independent comic book . . .


This detail from 1991's Marvel Holiday Special (soon to be reviewed right here!) satirizes the Turtles' popularity at the time.

Flipping through Mirage Studios’ Michelangelo Christmas Special, I’m amazed that Eastman and Laird retained their series’ original look, when I’m sure they could’ve easily sold out and gone mainstream with the most premiere publishing trends of the day. The beginnings of computerized lettering and coloring, higher-end paper stock and cover gimmicks -- these were all at their disposal, but instead this issue, published in ’90 and at a time of years when parents and kids alike are Ninja Turtle fishing, is so meek, it’s almost beneath notice! A minimalist exterior, and all gray-tone interiors . . . You know, for their own safety, the Turtles lived underground, out of sight. Did Eastman and Laird hope to preserve their original creative process by producing comics the same way?

Ironically, in this issue, Michelangelo dons a civilian costume, blends in with the hustling and bustling of the shopping Christmas crowd, and enjoys a day above ground, where he adopts a stray cat and indulges himself in a toy store. Of course, he discovers a ring of toy thieves that has intercepted a truck intended for the local orphanage, so Mickey and his brothers eventually make sure the “Li’l Orphan Alien” dolls make their way to the kids, at the risk of their own exposure. It’s a fun, heart-warming tale with plenty of action, that, in the context of the Turtles’ own popularity as coveted toys, boasts a satirical subtlety, whether or not overtly intentional by its authors.



The back-up yarn starring my favorite Turtle, Raphael, is a bit more baffling, however. Like many other Christmas comics, writer/artist Jim Lawson (second only to Eastman and Laird as the definitive Turtles storyteller) adapts Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” for one of our heroes, revealing a plethora of proverbial “elseworlds” that result from his outlook on the holidays, and, really, on life. As anticipated, Raph isn’t one for Christmas, he decides to ditch decorating the tree at April’s, and three imposing spirits take him on a walk through time. The first ghost takes Raph (and the readers) to the first Turtles’ tale, when the Foot crashed April’s antique store and nearly killed Leonardo. The second spirit reveals that the guys have resigned to their embittered brother’s disappearances, and the Ghost of Christmas Future prophesizes a bestial Raph living alone in a swamp. Interestingly, in the end, Raphael doesn’t join his brothers merrily, but remains alone in thought -- as if the lesson took but didn’t really persuade. Those shells sure are thick!

What I didn’t like about this tale is how rushed it felt. Lawson told the bare minimum to make “The Christmas Carol” connection, but with thirteen pages, his page layout and the story’s pacing seemed cramped and rushed, respectively. Remember, Raphael is my favorite of the foursome, so maybe I’d just hoped to see more of him. Yet, considering his character is the most dynamic in contrast to the generally joyful holiday season, he offers more of a conflict to explore. I’m sure the eighteen years between this issue and today’s Turtles have explored this dynamic more, if I wasn’t so distracted by toys and movies to actually read the half-shell heroes’ comics!

On the subject of toys, I would like to take this opportunity to talk about some of my Christmas indulgences, especially in light of some recent developments in the action figure collecting community. First of all, the Masters of the Universe franchise is in the midst of its second renaissance in the last ten years; back in 2000, Mattel, with the help of accomplished sculptors the Four Horsemen, modernized He-Man, Skeletor, and Eternia’s supporting cast in the hopes of appealing to old and new fans alike. Unfortunately, despite an engrossing new animated series on Cartoon Network, the toys suffered from the trapping of collectability, with mismatched ratio distributions (i.e. one Mer-Man for every five Skeletors, or something like that) and overwhelming variant editions. Kids were turned off and adult fans were broke and embittered pretty quickly -- especially if you’re still an Evil-Lynn away from completion, like me. Also, while these updated character designs looked great, I thought the figures themselves lacked a certain “playability” in contrast to other, better articulated lines. So, in its sophomore effort, the Masters failed to master their market.

Now, Mattel has decided that the adult collector has the power and has developed an exclusive on-line community featuring better articulated, finely sculpted incarnations of the classic line -- much to my complete delight. I’ve already scored this month’s inaugural He-Man and Beast-Man offerings, with a new figure promised monthly. (A special thanks to my brother for monitoring the Internet the instant the figures became available! I had to work, which goes to show that the responsibilities of adulthood too often trump the persistent delights of youth.) Now, the question is, do I open these figures and play with them, or keep them in their packages to display? I could just as easily open and display them, but if I never touch them, engage them in interactive adventure . . . What’s the point?

I wouldn’t have guessed it, but I’ve recently read some criticism about this direction, that on-line sales threaten to prohibit the line’s success, that reverting to the classic design is a step backward. I’m going on the record here and begging to differ -- Mattel has finally found He-Man’s post ‘80s niche. Simply put, kids aren’t interested in barbarians with ray guns anymore. Consider the more popular franchises of today’s youth -- Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, World of Warcraft. In these worlds, the heroes are passive participants, calling upon other creatures and weaponry to save the day for them. Children can relate to this inability to fight the good fight themselves, and by playing the games affiliated with these new mythologies, become as active in the lore as the very protagonists therein. So, if He-Man is to succeed today, the kids that originally sought him are still his core audience, just grown up into “exclusive collectors.” Now, we have the power!


My pic of the Masters of the Universe Classics He-Man prototype at 2007 San Diego Comic Con.

Yet, He-Man isn’t the only toy-based controversy that has been dancing in my head this holiday season. The latest Justice League Unlimited action figure six-packs are on sale at Target this week, and on Sunday I scoured four local branches for the “Secret Society,” “Apokalips Now,” and “Legends of the League” sets. I found them, but not before I found their boxes -- packed with other figures. Interestingly, the most coveted figures were replaced with previously available ones, with similar features, to boot; for example, the Atomic Skull was replaced with Waverider, who also boasts a translucent flaming head. KGBeast was replaced with the Elongated Man, both of whom have arm accessories. Fortunately, I was keen enough not to buy figures I already own, but the potential origins for this mishap are disturbing. Either collectors are purchasing these sets, pulling the new figures and replacing them with common extras, then returning the sets to Target for their money back, or Mattel is deliberating mis-packaging these boxes to make the new figures more collectible. Either thought is despicable to a simple fan like me, merely interested in having one of every available character. How many sharp kids will be disappointed this Christmas when parents buy the “Secret Society” pack they asked for -- and find a Copperhead where Shadow Thief should be?

Finally, the release of that “Apokalips Now” pack, specifically its inclusion of the character Mantis, has encouraged me to embrace the whims of my inner child and find contemporary counterparts to the action figures I had as a kid. The latest Masters of the Universe line helps, but I also had scattered DC Super Powers and Marvel Secret Wars figures purchased by my folks. Core characters like the Justice League and the Avengers are easy to come by, but baddies like Mantis or Kang are a bit more obscure. Fortunately, Hasbro’s latest Marvel Legends line includes a Kang, so I’m just a modern Magneto short of achieving a renewed version of my childhood collection.

What’s the point, you ask? What’s the point of indulging in comics in the first place? Originally targeting a younger audience, as much as the medium has grown up with its readership, its roots in fantasy and science fiction still appeals to the child in all of us. After all, childhood is in essence the journey to adulthood, the road to becoming something bigger than we already are. Superhero comics replace that need for adults -- having achieved the whole growing up thing -- the need to become something better. Like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles dwelling in the sewers, sometimes the inner child like to dress up like a man and come out to play for awhile. I’ve learned not to toy with his emotions.

The First Day of Comic-mas: A Dragon in a Pair o' Bandages

Most contemporary Christmas stories pivot around one or more of three well-established dynamics: (1.) exploring Santa Claus mythology, (2.) converting an anti-Christmas rascal, and (3.) saving Christmas itself from impending doom. Consider Fred Claus, the latest Vince Vaughn opus released on DVD. Regarding Santa lore, Fred Claus answers the heretofore unasked question, "What if Santa Claus had a brother?" Variations of this inquiry common in contemporary storytelling include, "What if Santa Claus had a child," "What if Santa Claus needed a successor," and "What if Santa Claus was institutionalized for claiming he was, well, Santa Claus?" Further, Kevin Spacey plays an efficiency expert determined to end Christmas -- like the Grinch that tried to steal it, or the Scrooge that tried to ignore it. I don't envy Christmas its rogues gallery. Fortunately, in Fred Claus' case, an ailing Santa still fulfills Spacey's childhood wish (which is, ironically, a Superman cape) and fills him with the Christmas spirit . . . and not a moment too soon, as Spacey's plans to halt the holiday are nearly fulfilled, if not for a last minute miracle.

Sound familiar? That's what I mean. Every secular Christmas story retains at least one of those characteristics. Heck, if it didn't, audiences would be reduced to watching happy people celebrate a peaceful holiday. We can't have that, can we?

Christmas comic books are no exception to these rules. In fact, the comic book, a medium dependent on visual iconography and conflict-driven storytelling, is the perfect forum for a contemporary Christmas story. (I've mentioned this before.) The comparisons are palpable -- Christmas has its make-believe heroes, complete with magical origins and supernatural abilities, determined to deliver good will to the world. That Santa delivers toys and doesn't battle mad scientists is just a footnote. Rudolph's red nose is just a turn on the color wheel from being a magic green ring.

So, for the next twelve reviews, I'm going to take a look at some of these comics and see how they hold up to tradition and expectation. In true A Comic A Day fashion, I've never read these comic books before; like a child on Christmas morning, I really don't know what to expect.

Which is why I've decided to begin, like everything else in my comic book collecting career, with Erik Larsen, with his beloved Savage Dragon. Contrary to what my blog might lead you to believe, I haven't read every issue of Savage Dragon; in fact, I have a few significant holes in my Dragon collection. Sometimes, at three bucks a pop, one just has to discriminate when staring at the new release shelf week after week. Also, despite my love for his work, I've acknowledged, like many fans, that Larsen's work has been inconsistent in recent years, thanks in large part to his role as publisher for Image Comics. Fortunately, this holiday issue of Savage Dragon predates that erratic work and reflects the best of post issue #100 Dragon -- featuring Dragon and his family battling Chicago's freakish underground. Specifically, in this issue, Dragon's former fellow cop Rita is missing; coincidentally, Santa has disappeared, too, and some of his elves have offered their services on the hunt for Rita if the finned-one can save Christmas. While practice-flying the sleigh, the villainous, jet-sled riding Seeker arrives, and as Dragon defeats him, his friends find Rita and finish off her captors. It's a happy ending, albeit a bit typical for Dragon, what with both of his hands blown off.

Don't worry. They'll grow back.

That's the thing about Savage Dragon -- the outrageous is totally normal, and with Larsen's recent foray into cutting edge Presidential politics, in every way, from Rita's long-standing struggle with side effects from a Martian shrinking ray, to Barack Obama congratulating Dragon on his return to the police force. Interestingly, Larsen doesn't actually show Santa in this issue (browse through some Dragon back issues for the only Santa appearance that suits the series), and in fact Saint Nick's abduction is reduced to a fleeting, tongue-in-cheek caption on the last page, but this dismissive tone is satirical to the very point I posed in the beginning. When Santa's helper first appeared, Dragon expressed his disbelief. Then, with Christmas in peril, the reader gets a sneak peak at the North Pole, a glimpse at how some of "the magic" works. Then, finally, Christmas is saved.

Sound familiar?

I confess, I haven't seen A Miracle on 34th Street in its entirety. I haven't read A Christmas Carol. But I remember that time the gray Hulk battled Rhino as a mall Santa Claus. I remember when a Scarecrow-gas victim dressed as Santa and went on a killing spree in Gotham City just for the fun of it. I remember the first episode of The Simpsons, and every Christmas episode since. While literature and film have established the traditions of holiday storytelling, one need not indulge them considering the strength of the Christmas spirit. From Ebenezer Scrooge to the Savage Dragon . . . the essence of selflessness is the gift that keeps on giving.

Savage Dragon #106 was published in December 2002 and is by Erik Larsen, with lettering by Chris Eliopoulos and coloring by Reuben Rude.